War of Hearts
by WanderingChild1591
Summary: The magic of the realms is bound and Gemma is back at Spence with Ann and Felicity, but her troubles aren't over yet, in fact, the worst is yet to come.GemmaKartik. Please R&R!
1. Chapter 1

I do not own A Great and Terrible Beauty or Rebel Angels. Not that that is over with I present to you my hopefully entertaining fanfic. I would really appreciate any comments or critiques so please leave a review. I will try to update really soon. Thanks and enjoy!

"You are all alone Gemma, all alone." Eyes of white and pointed teeth mock me. No matter how hard I try not to let those words get to me, they always do, every night. It is because they are the truth. I am all alone.

I wake up again for the fifth night in a row covered in sweat with tears running down my cheeks. Father is wasting away, my brother is too concerned with trying to be normal, Grandmama is too busy minding other people's business, and I am here, at oh-so-wonderful Spence. Jolly good.

Knowing full well that I am not going to fall back asleep I get up and pull on my cloak and shoes and head outside. The cool spring breeze against my still slightly damp skin sends shivers down my spine. It has been three months since I took control of the magic of the realms and everything is still a mess. Miss McCleethy still wants all the power to go to the Order and the tang of war is still in the air. Worst of all, I think Pippa is the one leading the army of the Winterlands. Poor Pip…

I stop and look where my wandering has brought me. I am on the shore of the lake, which causes more memories to flood my already crowded mind. I hear a snap of a twig behind me, but before I can turn around a strong arm is around my waist and a hand is over my mouth.

"Do not scream." Says a familiar deep voice in my ear. Kartik. My stomach does a flip. He takes his hand away and I turn around. He seems so much softer, not as intimidating as he once was. I wonder if I did that to him. If I had not come into his life he would have never had to go against the Rakshana and he would not be like me, alone. My eyes travel over his face until we are looking eye to eye. Such sad eyes…No Gemma! He was planning to kill you! Do not feel bad for him. He cannot be trusted, no one can.

"What are you doing here?" I ask with more force than I mean to and the hurt in his eyes causes me to look away.

"I caught wind of a new plan of the Rakshana's. I do not know the details but I wanted to make sure I am near whenever they decide to strike."

"I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself thank you."

"You can not fight this alone Gemma!" He is right. But I do not want him to know that.

"I did perfectly well binding the magic without your help and I certainly do not need it now."

"You asked for my help Miss Doyle, so now I am helping you."

"I asked for your allegiance and information, not for your protection and guidance. Good night Kartik." I turn on my heel and start walking back.

"I am sorry Gemma."

"Me too." I whisper without turning but I do not think he hears me. Maybe it is better that he does not. Ann is still snoring softly when I return to our room. A new wave of exhaustion comes over me so I crawl into bed hoping to get a few more hours of dreamless sleep before having to face another dreary day at Spence. Right. Not happening.

Just as I start to drift off to sleep Ann opens the curtains and calls for me to get up before headed to breakfast. I roll out of bed in a most unlady-like manner and start to get dressed. The breakfast hall is already filled and I make it just in time to eat a nice heaping bowl of cold porridge. Jolly good.

"Oh my Gemma, did you sleep okay? You look absolutely awful." Says Felicity with innocent eyes. I do have the greatest friends, that always tell the truth, even when it does not want to be heard.

"No, Felicity I did not and thank you so very much on your input on my appearance. But my dear Fee, are you getting sick? Your hair looks a little limp." Wow. Lack of sleep does not suit me very well. Ann giggles and Felicity stuffs a very large piece of bacon in her mouth. Great morning.

Just before we are dismissed for classes Mrs. Nightwing daintily taps her glass as to get everyone's attention.

"A guest has just arrived who would like to call upon Miss Doyle." My head flies up to look at Mrs. Nightwing. Is she serious? Who could it possible be? Kartik's warning comes to mind but surely no one in Rakshana would come to Spence. Would they? There are hushed whispers all around and I can feel the blood rushing to my cheeks.

"We wish you the best of luck Miss Doyle." We are dismissed for classes, but instead of going to class I leave Felicity and Ann, who appear to be as curious as I am, and follow Mrs. Nightwing into the parlor.

"Hello again, Miss Doyle." My stomach drops.


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks to PhantomFan13 for the review! Nice guess but it's not Sarah. Enjoy!

Recently on War of Hearts…

"Hello Miss Doyle" My stomach drops.

Simon Middleton stood in front of me in all of his finery. My jaw drops in a most unlady-like manner.

"Si-Mister Middleton. What a surprise." What is he doing here! He gives my one of his all-knowing smiles. Kartik may have a point; he is a bit of a fop. I really need to get more sleep.

"I realized after you left what a mistake it was to let you go. I had to find you and try once again to sweep you off your feet." Wow. How much I would really like to wipe that smirk off his face. Lady-like thoughts Gemma, lady-like! I am way too tired to try and act flattered.

"I thought we both agreed that it was not working between us."

"I know but I just could not stop thinking about you. Can you honestly say that you did not enjoy at least one moment with me?" I blush. I cannot believe he is saying such things in front of Mrs. Nightwing, who is obviously listening. I take a seat in an armchair and he seats across from me. It is true. I did enjoy spending time with Simon, but it could never be. I will always be alone.

"I did enjoy spending time with you, yes, but I thought we agre-"

"I know we may have said things that we may not have meant but we can but those things in the past and start over." Um, I did mean what I said…

"I know you are missing class so maybe I can call upon you again at another time." We both stand up and he takes my hand and places a light kiss across my knuckles. It takes a lot to resist the erge to wipe the back of my hand on my skirts.

"Until we meet again my lady." He bows and leaves and Mrs. Nightwing escorts me back to class.

I walk into French and a dozen pairs of eyes are upon me.

"Your calling went well I hope Miss Doyle?" asks Madame LeFarge. I nod and take my seat between Ann and Felicity. When Madame goes back to her lesson Felicity wastes no time in satisfying her curiosity.

"Who was it?"

"Simon Middleton"

"What did he want?" Asks Ann.

"He wants to start courting again."

"I thought you two ended it?" pries Felicity.

"We did, but _he_ wants to _start over_." Felicity goes to ask more questions but Madame gives the three of us a glare, postponing our conversation until later.

Another opportunity does not come until lunchtime, by which other matters are brought up.

"Can you take us into the realms tonight Gemma?" Ann asks, her watery eyes pleading. I feel a stab of guilt and look away.

"Not tonight I am afraid, I am still too tired and I need my rest. Maybe tomorrow night." With that neither Felicity nor Ann want to say anything to me so the rest of lunch is spent in silence. I have not told either of them about my dreams, or my suspicions of Pippa. They would not want to hear it. I cannot take them into the realms until they understand that our Pip is gone, and that something much darker has replaced her.

We go back to classes and the rest of the day drags by uneventfully. By the time we are allowed freedom I am thoroughly exhausted and head up to our room to try and catch a nap. When I walk in I immediately notice on my pillow.

_Miss Doyle,_

_I noticed that Mr. Middleton has come to visit you. What did he want? Has he found you out? You did not tell him about the Order did you? Do not trust him. Meet me at the boathouse at midnight. Be careful._

_-Kartik_

I sigh. Why does he have to pry? Why does he have to care? I reread the note. There is no way that I am going to stay up to midnight. I look at the clock. I have some time before I have to go to dinner so I decide to see if Kartik sent up his tent in the same place he did last time, if he did I can get this meeting over now and not have to worry about waiting up. I grab my cloak and sneak out to the grounds, making sure that no one follows me.

I soon reach the clearing and to my luck his tent is set up there. But he is nowhere in sight. I decide to sit on a rock by the fire pit and wait a little while to see if he comes back. Just before I decide to leave he comes.

"Gemma? What are you doing here?" He must have just taken a bath because his hair was wet and he was not wearing a shirt. I noticed that I am staring and I blush and look at my feet as he goes into his tent.

"I-um- I have not been sleeping well and I wanted to speak to you now rather than midnight."

"Why have you not been sleeping well?" he asks as he comes out of the tent properly dressed, a look of concern in his eyes."

"Just bad dreams"

"Of what?"

"I cannot remember" I lie. He knows that I do not speak the truth but he does not go further into it. We sit in silence until he finally says something.

"What did Mr. Middleton have to say?"

"Oh, nothing much really. He just wants to start calling upon me again. Not that that is any of your business."

"Why would he do that?"

"Excuse me?" I stand up insulted.

"I mean why would he start courting you again when I thought you had both agreed that neither went well together."

"I-I don't know. Maybe he just changed his mind." I say as I seat back down.

"How do you feel?"

"That's none of your business."

"He cannot be trusted."

"Bloody hell Kartik! Maybe not everyone is plotting against me!" He is a bit taken back by my outburst and I don not give him a chance to recover.

"Just keep out of my social life." I know this hurts him but I am already on my way back to Spence, hoping I did not already miss diner.

Felicity and Ann say nothing during our meal so I am left to stare at my food and wonder. Can't Simon just be here because maybe he really does still like me? He is normal, and I really need something normal in my life. Maybe tomorrow I will call upon him. Maybe just for an hour I can be normal, just maybe.

Hope you enjoyed it! Just so you know, i'm totally winging this so i am not sure when i will be able to get the next chapter up. Please R&R!

Doyle


	3. Chapter 3

Hey everyone! Thanks to PhantomFan13 and coolmarauders for reviewing and to everyone else who have come to check this story out. Okay, I have been on a roll and I had this chapter finished last night but my brother is home from college and he is on-line from 9:00pm until 3:00am every night so I did not get a chance to post yesterday. Anyway, here's chapter three. Enjoy!

I wake up form a thankfully dreamless sleep and prepare to meet with Simon, who Mrs. Nightwing had already contacted after I talked to her last night. It is a beautiful Saturday morning and I am hoping for some normality. Ann is still snoring softly so I give her a nudge and tell her to get up before heading down to the dinning hall myself.

After eating a delicious breakfast of toast and marmalade I walk with Mrs. Nightwing to the garden where Simon is waiting for us.

"I do believe you said you no longer wished to be courted by Mr. Middleton," asks Mrs. Nightwing, surprising me with what sounds like her concern.

"I did."

"Then why, may I ask, are you continuing to meet with him?"

"He is a nice boy," I say, ending the conversation. We soon reach the garden and Mrs. Nightwing falls back as Simon and I greet each other. We say the necessary formalities and he kisses my hand and bows and I curtsy. The first few minutes we stroll along in silence.

"How are your classes going?" he asks.

"The usual," I say, "Mademoiselle LeFarge winces every time I attempt to speak her beloved language but my sewing is improving, I can make a straight line now." He laughs and smiles at me. We continue our stroll and small talk, the light breeze blowing the smell of peaches our way, and everything, in what feels like ages, seems normal.

Simon leaves right before noon. The rest of our time together was refreshing and I greet Felicity and Ann in the dinning hall in a much better mood than I had the previous day. We sit down to a lunch of small ham sandwiches and I tell them about my morning with Simon.

"Well," says Felicity, delicately patting her mouth with her napkin, "It seems that even though you say you have no feelings for him, you thoroughly enjoyed his company." I shrug in response, not liking where this is going.

"And for someone who claims to not have much energy from lack of sleep you certainly got up early enough to meet Mr. Middleton," she says, looking at me with an unsettling glare.

"I slept a lot better last night than I did the previous night," I say, my good mood fleeting fast.

"Tell me, dear Gemma, would you take Simon into the realms if he asked it of you." My temper flares. How dare she even think that I would do such a thing? But before I have the chance to respond she continues.

"How about taking your dear friends into the realms tonight Gemma? Since you had a good night's rest and all." Ann looks at me for my response. I can tell she wants desperately to go back, to be beautiful again, and it breaks my heart to be the one to deprive her of that happiness, but I must, I myself, still do not know what evil could be lurking in the realms.

"I can not," I say, trying to be as forceful as possible as to put them off the idea, but Felicity is determined.

"Oh, alright dearest Gemma," she says, her venom filled voice rising, "but when you finally decide to be loyal to your _true_ friends, maybe then we will be able to forgive you for your selfishness." She gives me one last glare and then gets up and exits the room, causing the few people who were not already looking our way to stare at us.

"What are you looking at," I sneer very rudely. I turn to Ann.

"Do you feel the same way?" I ask. Come on Ann, tell me you understand, tell me its okay.

"I just want to be beautiful again," she says, not looking up from her plate. Thanks Ann, I knew you would come through. Losing my appetite completely, I get up and follow Felicity's example and stomp out of the room and head towards her room.

I knock once but do not wait for a reply before walking in. She's lying on her bed with a book in her hands, but I doubt she was actually reading.

"Come to apologize, have we?"

"How could you call me selfish when all I have ever done is take you to the realms when ever you asked it of me! I never had to let you in on my secret. If it was not for me would never have known there ever was a place like the realms!"

"But you did let us in on the secret," She says rising from her bed to stand in front of me, but I still had the advantage of a couple inches. "You showed us this paradise, gave us a taste of heaven and then refused us another bite when we are starving for it. You have all the magic of the realms but you want it all for your self because you are so selfish!" She is screaming by the time she finishes.

"I can't," I sob, " I can't bring you back!"

"Why not!" I have to tell her. Whether she likes it or not, she has to know."

"You will not like what you see," I whisper.

"I would not know if I like it or not, I have not been there of late."

"It's Pippa," I look away, not able to meet her eyes, "she as fully turned into a monster and I did not want to bring you and Ann there because I did not want to give her the chance to fool you because I knew you would have a hard time believing me." I am praying that she will except this gracefully and apologize for yelling at me. But for the second time today, I am greatly disappointed.

"How dare you say that about our Pip! All she ever was was lovely. She would have taken us into the realms if she could, and she would have shared the power with us. And if it was not for you, maybe she would still be here!" I can not bring myself to respond, the wave of guilt rendering me speechless. I take another look at Fee, her chest heaving from all her yelling, and I turn and walk out of the door. I keep walking until I reach the grounds, and then I hike up my skirts and run as fast as my corset will allow me, and do not stop until I reach the lake's shore.

I lay in the tethered rowboat, rocking gently and watching clouds shaped like big dogs float by, tears making little rivers down my cheeks. It's my fault she is dead. If I had not left her there, I could have saved her. I close my eyes and feel another wave of tears cascade down my face, tickling the side of my neck. The wind blows a piece of my hair across my face but I do not move to brush it away. The swaying of the boat relaxes all my muscles and the weight of drowsiness holds me down. I am just about to drift into a blissful sleep when I sense him nearby. Kartik.

In the next moment he comes into my view as he stands over the boat. A look of concern crosses his face as he notices my puffy, tear-streaked face, but it's gone in a flash, leaving an emotionless expression in its wake.

"If you have nothing to say, leave me to my brooding."

"I have reason for Mr. Middleton not to be trusted," he says, ignoring my previous statement.

"And why is that?" I sneer

"I saw him meet with someone in town this afternoon." I roll my eyes.

"Because God forbid that he meets with any friends."

"It was very suspicious looking." I sigh exasperated.

"Was this man wearing the symbol of the Rakshana?" I ask. He glares at me but shakes his head.

"Then do not worry about it. Anyway there are more important things at hand. Both Felicity and Ann think I am being selfish because I will not take them into the realms. Do you think I am selfish?" He gives me a hard look.

"I am just the Indian boy who is suppose to bring news, not gossip about your social life." He turns around and leaves me in a state of shock. I sit up to call after him but when I do he is nowhere in sight.

That night I do not go down to dinner, and no one complains. Instead I sit up in my and Ann's room and take out my mother's dairy. I need you mother. I am so alone. But now it seems that I am the one pushing everyone away, and maybe it's for the better. Maybe this way, no one else will get hurt. With this thought I put away the diary and turn off the lamp. I lie down and brace myself for what will most likely be another restless night of dreams and worries. Jolly Good.


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks so much to all of my reviewers, PhantomFan13, coolmarauders, JustMeAndADream, JesskaLovesYou, mecca-dog, and Sarah Lynn 86, it really keeps me going. I won't be able to update as fast as I have been because tomorrow I have to go back to school- damn it! Anyways, glad you like it so far!

-Doyle

I am walking through the loud and bustling market of Bombay; the smell of cinnamon, mangoes and coconuts on the warm breeze brings memories to my mind and tears to my eyes. I see something dart by out of the corner of my eye. I ignore it, thinking it is only one of the flies swarming my face, but then I see it again. I whip around just in time to make out its shape. A monkey. My skirts are in my hand and I am sprinting down an alley after it.

I am out of breath and cursing whoever thought of the idea of a bloody corset by the time the monkey comes to a stop outside of a small hut. It climbs its way onto the roof and then screeches at me, beckoning me to go inside, daring me. I look into his shiny black eyes before taking cautious steps toward the hut. The afternoon sun blares on my back and gnats swarm my face like bees near a beehive. I draw nearer and I begin to hear noises coming from inside. I go nearer still until I can make out what sounds like moans of pleasure. I feel the blood rush to my cheeks and I look away embarrassed. I hear a ferocious shriek from the monkey who has jumped down from the roof and is now on the ground behind me, pounding the dirt with his tiny fists. Before I know it I run into the hut.

It is pitch black and it takes my eyes a minute to adjust. The hut contains only a bed occupied by two people who seem to be connected at the mouth; all I can do is stare in horror. The person on top, the women, brakes away and turns to look at me and I gasp, taking a step back, hitting the closed down behind me. Pippa. She just smiles at me, her beautiful smile, and rolls off the person beneath her. My heart skips a beat and my eyes tingle with tears threatening to fall. Pippa lets out a sweet little laugh and starts kissing his neck and a groan escaped his lips, Kartik's lips.

He turns his gaze to me and his eyes mock me as he too laughs at me, the pitiful little creature who can do nothing. I want to scream and shout, turn and run away, but I can't. I am held in place with his gaze. I glance at Pippa as she pulls a dagger from under the sheets and plunge it into Kartik's chest when he isn't even looking. I can't even look away; it feels like some one is holding my eyelids open and forcing me to watch this horrible scene. Kartik gasps, but soon his expression of pain turns into one of love as he gazes up at Pippa, his beautiful lips curving into a generous smile. My heart feels as if it just went through a cheese grater. She leans over and whispers into his ear and his smile grows even bigger.

She pulls the dagger out of his chest, he grimaces but the look of love never leaves his eyes. Pippa places the dagger in his hands and he rises from the bed and turns to look at me. He comes closer and closer but all I can do is stand there, waiting for him He places his finger on my neck and traces a pattern on the delicate skin there. He looks into my eyes and then, like a flash of lighting, slits my throat.

I wake up in hysterics; all of the emotions that I could not express in my dream comes out in one gigantic tidal wave. I roll over and sob into my pillow, trying to stifle the sound so I do not wake Ann. Kartik just killed me. Kartik just killed me with a look of joy in his eyes. Another sob racks my body. I curl up into a ball on my side to try to minimize the shaking. My wet lashes stick to my cheeks and my nose runs. I sniffle and close my eyes. It was just a dream Gemma, just a dream. He wouldn't have done it, he said he wouldn't have. I keep telling myself this until I fall into another restless sleep filled with nightmares of a white eyes and pointed teeth.

Ann wakes me up before going down to breakfast, not waiting for me. I drag my sleep-weighted body out of bed and pull myself into the vanity chair and look into the mirror. There are dark circles under my eyes and my face and chest is still blotchy from last night's hysterics, my eyes look as ghostly as ever. I sigh and wash my face with a wet washcloth. I struggle with the corset while getting dressed but I manage it and head down stairs.

Ann and Felicity are already chowing down on eggs and bacon, chatting away about the latest fashion in Paris. I, however, sit down to my usual cold porridge. My blood is to tired to boil. I cannot take this anymore! I hate it when people are cross with me. For what feels like the millionth time my eyes threaten to spill tears into my already watery porridge. I look at Ann and Fee, who haven't even acknowledged my presence, and I make up my mind. I will take them into the realms.

"If you really want to, I can take you to the realms tonight," I say, still staring at the bowl of porridge. They both snap to attention, mouths gaping like dogs with a hope of getting a bone.

"You mean it Gemma dear?" she asks. I just nod in response. "Oh I knew you would be true to your dear friends! When do you want to meet?" She is already by my side giving me a hug and Ann is smiling like a mad woman, I can see her eyes cloud as she dreams of being beautiful again and I find myself smiling in what seems like days. We agree to meet at midnight at Pip's memorial, Fee's idea.

The rest of the day goes by in a drowsy daze, until dinner. I sit down to a well-deserved lunch after trying to learn how to waltz for the last hour and missing lunch due to an unexpected nap, and _Miss Temple_ has to ruin it.

"My dear Gemma," Cecily says in her sickly sweet voice, "you look positively dreadful. Maybe you should try not to do so many men in one night," she says with a innocent smile on her face that I would very much like to slap off, and I would have too if Felicity and Ann hadn't stop me.

"You are just jealous, Cecily, that Miss Doyle here has caught the eye of Mister Middleton," Fee says. I am so glad she is my friend again. Cecily makes a very unlady-like snort.

"And only a _whore_ would turn him down," she smiles menacingly, "Bags under your eyes, always late to breakfast. Tell me, dear Gemma, about how long do you think until we will have a little Miss Doyle running around Spence?" Tears are running down my cheeks in anger and embarrassment. Before anyone can say anything more I run out the doors and onto the grounds, followed by what feels like a thousand eyes.

The sun is starting to go down and the temperature is going with it, I, whom is not wearing a cloak, am freezing. I am dizzy from lack of food and sleep, allowing me to get only to the lake's shore where I faint.

I open my eyes and see that I'm wrapped up in a blanket in front of a fire at a campsite. Panic grips me. Where am I? What time is it? I am too busy thinking of all the bad things that could happen to me to notice someone coming out of the tent.

"I see you're up. What, may I ask, were you doing running about at night after the sun has gone down?" I can't help but smile with relief when I see Kartik's face look at me from across the fire. I explain my still restless sleeping and lack of food, leaving out that bites about my dream of him and the encounter with Cecily. He says nothing but gets up and goes into his tent. A breeze makes me pull the blanket closer around my shoulders and I get a whiff of its smell; campfire smoke and cinnamon, and I can't help but wonder if Kartik ever slept with this blanket.

Kartik comes back out with a tangerine in hand. My mouth waters just at the sight. He peels it and gives it to me, our fingers touching just for a second. We make eye contact and I blush and look away. The tangerine is so sweet that I feel bad not sharing so I offer him a piece and he accepts it with a smile.

Another breeze sends shivers down my spine. Kartik notices this and does a very forward thing. He gets up and walks around the camp fire until he is behind me where he sits down and then wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me backwards so my back is resting against his chest. I am so surprised at such an action that I don't even respond. My mind is screaming that this is wrong, but my boy feels so warm and safe that I cannot protest. I lay my head back on his shoulder and I can see a smile grace his beautiful lips. Those lips…

His lips are over mine and I turn a little more. His arms pull me closer and his hands go to my lower back and into my hair, which has already fallen down, my coppery curls sprawled over my shoulders, my heart starts to race. His tongue slips into my mouth and I surprise my self by putting my hands behind his neck and in his soft curls and pulling him towards me, deepening the kiss even more. He tastes like tangerine and other spices and I feel like I never want to stop but my mind is screaming. What are you doing Gemma? Will you really go as far as disgracing your family? What will your father think? I suddenly pull back.

"I am sorry Kartik," I say, blushing profusely and looking away. He gets up and throws his arms into the air.

"Why do you do this to me!" The anger in his eyes gives me chills.

"It can never be," I whisper.

"And why is that?" he asks me ferociously. I can't even look him in the eyes, as I do not answer.

"I thought so," he sneers and then laughs. His laughing frightens me as much as his anger. He stops laughing and looks at me.

"I better take you back." All I can do is nod. We walk back in silence. By this time the windows of Spence are dark and everyone is most likely asleep. He leaves me at the door without a word. I walk slowly back to my room, thinking about everything that has occurred in the last few hours. And all I feel is regret. I regret not standing up to Cecily. I regret running off. Even though I enjoyed it so much, I regret kissing Kartik. I regret not telling him why I pulled away. I walk into my room and there's Ann and Felicity waiting for me.

"Where have you been?" Felicity asks, getting up from her spot in the vanity chair.

"Out," I say, not looking at either of them. I am exhausted and all I want to do is sulk and maybe get a few hours of peaceful sleep. Felicity starts to ask more about my earlier whereabouts but I stop her with a glare, it is none of their business. No one says anything for a few minutes, lost in thought. I can feel my heavy lids droop and I can barely keep my self up right.

"I can not take you to the realms tonight. I am dearly sorry, I will take you both tomorrow." I must look worse than I thought because they do not even argue, not even Felicity.

"You promise?" She asks.

"I promise." With that Felicity is out the door and Ann goes behind the changing screen, coming out a few minutes later in her night gown and gets into bed. Not a word is said. I strip myself down to my chemise but am too tired to pull on my nightgown so I crawl into bed as I am. I close my eyes and drift to sleep, seeing only the look of anger on Kartik's face.

First off I would like to apologize for any mistakes. I am in an incredible rush because I have to leave in a few minutes. I was planning on writing more for this chapter but I am simply running out of time and I do not know when I will be able to post again so I anted to get something up. Hope you enjoyed!

-Doyle


	5. Chapter 5

Wow… it's been a while. Thank you so much to all of my fantastic readers and reviewers and everyone who has added my story to their favorites and to story alert, it really means a lot to me. I'm so sorry I've taken so long to update. I did post an author's note explaining that I had gotten into a show at my school and I have been busy with that and with testing but I didn't leave it up for that long. I have now finished both and am free, for the time being. In a few days I'm going away with my family to Paris and then I'm staying in Wales to work for the rest of the summer. So… I'm not sure how updating over the summer is going to go. Anyway, here is the fifth chapter of War of Hearts, finally.

-Doyle

P.S. I also reread chapter four and realized that the two paragraphs involving Gemma and Kartik were really messed up and I have fixed them. Sorry about that.

Chapter Five

A ray of sun hits my eyes through the open window and I roll over with a groan. The only thing that forces me out of the protective warmth of my covers is the painful gurgling of my empty stomach. I look over at Ann's bed but it's empty so I assume she went to breakfast without me. I wash up as best as I can, poking my self in the eye in my sleepy state, and pull on my uniform over a clean chemise. Feeling a little more awake I stumble down stairs to breakfast.

As I assumed, the hot breakfast has already been served and I am just in time for my usual, a heaping bowl of cold porridge, great. Felicity and Ann spot me and wave me over. I smile, happy that we once again have somewhat of a friendship. I quickly join them.

"I tried waking you up this morning so you would not be late but you would not awake for any thing," Ann said, looking at me with her sad eyes and her fork half way to her mouth covered in hash and egg. I smile anyway.

"Thanks for trying Ann. I had trouble even waking my self up." She smiles back at me and continues eating. Fee looks at me and I know she wants to ask more questions but before she can even start I start talking again.

"It's Saturday and we have no classes, I know I promised to take you to the realms today so when do you want to go," I ask dryly, looking down at my oh-so-loverly porridge.

"Oh darling Gemma! Do you mean it," asks Fee, her light curls bouncing gracefully as she jumps up to hug me. Ann is also looking at me with a smile of glee on her face. All questions of the last couple of rocky days vanish from their minds and I feel myself smile at the feeling of having them as friends again.

We leave the hall after breakfast and head to the cave at the back of the school. Fee jumps and sings a merry little tune as she swings Ann around. I can't help but laugh at them.

"I can be beautiful again!" Ann cries with laughter. Felicity twirls her about.

"And we can finally she Pippa again!" My smile falls from my face and I can feel a knot form in my stomach. Oh no. Neither of them believes me that Pip has gone over to the Winterlands and god only knows what she will convince them to do behind my back. I look up at them entering the cave and decide that now was not the time to remind them.

"Come on Gemma! Hurry up," Fee calls from inside the cave. I run to catch up and I pray that we will not meet Pip in the realms today but something tells me that is unavoidable.

The cave is exactly as I remember it; small, damp, and musty smelling, but it still brings happy memories to my mind. Ann and Felicity are already sitting cross-legged on the floor and the Fee pats the ground next to her and I take a seat. I really don't want to do this but I know that if I don't I'll be doomed to my horrible fate alone.

"Picture the door of light like we used to, and remember, the realms aren't exactly what they used to be." I say the last part with a glance at Fee but I don't say anything more.

"Let's just go Gemma before we die of the cold," she responds, catching my point. We all close are eyes and within seconds the door appears in our mind's eye. Ann and Felicity are giggling with excitement and I stare at the door with hatred. What one does only for the fragile promise of never being completely alone.

"Come on Gemma, open the door," Fee says, getting impatient. I mumble my apologies and put my sweaty hand on the doorknob and pause only for a second before turning it, letting the light form the other side come threw, momentarily blinding us.

At the first glance, the garden looked as it usually did, beautiful and peaceful, but as I look around again it seems like the sunlight isn't as bright nor the grass as long and soft. Ann immediately covers herself in glimmering silk and sparkling diamonds. I glanced around but Felicity is nowhere insight. Panic grips my insides and I run over to Ann who is now looking at her reflection on the surface of the river, on which the gorgon is not present.

"Ann, where did Fee go, did she tell you," Ann looks up at me with a smile on her face.

"Um, no, I don't know where she went," she replies, immediately looking back at her reflection.

"Well, aren't you worried?" I can feel my heart start to race and I start to get angry. Ann does not respond, too absorbed in what she only wished could be, but as I turn away I see the reflection of angry red welts on the inside of her wrists. I wonder if the lack of seeing her beautiful self in the realms caused her to harm herself and I feel like my heart is being squeezed. I quickly push the feeling away and tell Ann that I'm going to go look for Felicity.

I follow a path into the woods. As soon as I enter I can feel the temperature drop and a feeling of dread comes over me but I continue on. I start calling Fee's name but get no response. Five minutes in I hear something and my head snaps in the direction and I step off the path and start to follow it. As I get closer I can make out the sound of laughter and I call Felicity again but still receive no response.

I can make out a clearing up ahead and I can see shapes moving. The laughter gets louder and I enter the clearing.

"Gemma! Oh dearest Gemma, I have missed you so much! What has kept you away from me for so long?" My stomach drops and I can fell my porridge from breakfast churn. Pippa…

"Pippa! I missed you as well. I am dearly sorry I have not been able to visit more often." I smile at the ground, not daring to look her in the eye. She lets out a carefree laugh that sounds like music and I look up at her. She's as beautiful as she always was. I finally notice Fee sitting next to Pip and she smiles smugly at me.

"Have a seat Gemma! What has been happening with you of late," Pip asks cheerfully. I shrug and sit down, continuing to look at the dirt patch in front of my left knee. Fee is sitting behind Pip, braiding her hair and she looks up at me, still smiling.

"How's that Indian friend of yours doing? Is he grieving me much," Pippa asks. My eyes snap to her face, and the look on Kartik's face as he saw Pip standing on the edge of the lake comes to mind, I stutter out a lie.

"Um, I-I haven't seen him since Christmas." I look back at the ground and Pip laughs.

"He would have been a good boy toy. He probably would have done what ever I wanted him to," she giggles. I glance up at her again I see eyes of white but I blink in surprise and her eyes are the lovely shade of purple, as they have always been. I remember my dream of her and Kartik and I shiver.

"It's probably getting late," I say, " we should probably start heading back. If we don't hurry Ann might just fall into the river." I smile weakly at them and Pip smiles back but Fee scowls at me.

"Why do we always have to go back only when you want to!" She jumps to her feet and is staring at me ferociously. "I want to stay with Pip some more!" With that she turns around and runs of. I pick up my skirts to run after her but I'm stopped by a hand on my shoulder. I look at its owner and Pippa is smiling at me.

"I'll go get her. She'll probably listen to me more than you anyway." Before I can argue she is running in the direction that Fee headed. At a lost of anything else to do I turn around and make my way back to Ann on the riverside.

When I get back to the garden Ann is still where I left her. Not knowing what else to do, I sit down next to her, She doesn't even respond. I look at my own reflection. My coppery curls seem limp and I have faint purpely-grayish circles under my eyes. I fall back onto the grass and look up at the clouds. I wonder if Kartik really does grieve for Pippa. Thinking of Kartik reminds me of last night and I cringe.

There's a rustling noise coming from the woods and I quickly stand up and brace myself but it is just Pippa back with Felicity. Fee doesn't even look at me as she walks quickly past and joins Ann on the bank.

"Thank you Pip, for bringing her back." She flashes me a small smile and I could swear that I see pointed teeth but before I can get a better look she turns and runs back into the woods. Going where, I wonder. I shudder at the thought and walk back to Ann and Felicity.

As soon as I reach them Fee gets up and walks back to the tree. I look down at Ann, who seems transfixed, and kneel down besides her.

"It is time to go Ann," I say quietly but she doesn't look at me. "Ann," I say louder and she jumps and turns to look at me. "It's time to leave."

"Leave?" She looks at me sadly and my heart clenches again.

"Yes Ann, it's getting late, we need to go back."

"I can't leave."

"Ann?" I pull gently on her arm but she jumps and pulls out of my grasp.

"No!" Tears are running down her cheeks and for a moment she looks confused. I try to comfort her but she pulls away again and runs over to Fee. I sigh sadly and force the tears welling up in my eyes to go away. I walk over to them and we hold hands and invision the door.

We are back at the cave in seconds and by the time I open my eyes Felicity has her arm around Ann's shoulders and they're walking back, leaving me on the ground. My legs are numb and the rest of my limbs are stiff from the cold. I lean my head against the wall behind me, the tears I've been holding back silently fall as I watch Felicity and Ann get smaller and smaller through a sheen of tears. It feels like hours that I sit there until the cold is too much to bare and I struggle to my feet, pain shooting through my limbs in protest. I walk around the grounds for a little while, trying to get some feeling back into my legs and I spot a light in the distance.

When I finally reach the source I discover a tent lit up from the inside. Kartik's camp. Without another thought I walked up to the entrance and knocked on the frame. A second later Kartik emerges and my heart skips a beat.

"Yes?" He doesn't look thrilled to see me and my dream flashes into my mind, I look away.

"Look," I say, glancing back up at him, "I didn't come here to fight. I came here to apologize." His look softens a bit, giving me the courage to continue. "I'm sorry what I did to you the other night, it was wrong, but I can't change the past. I've been fighting with Felicity and Ann a lot lately and I am feeling a little alone." Tears well up again and I try so hard not to let them fall. "I don't know what kind of relationship we could have together, but please let me know if you could at least try to be my friend." Damn tears! Kartik looks me in the eye and before I know it he pulls me into a hug, a friendly hug, and I bury my wet face in his shoulder.

"I have, and always will be your friend Gemma." We stay like that until my tears stop. He gives me a cloth to dry my face and then lends me his cloak as he walks me back to Spence. We stop at the edge of the woods and I try to give him back his cloak but he tells me to keep it until tomorrow. We awkwardly say our good-byes and head our separate ways.

I walk into Spence just in time for dinner. Not wanting to deal with anyone, I slip some food into a napkin and carry it up to my room. I eat in a meditative silence and when I am done I change into my night gown and hide Kartik's cloak in one of my drawers.

I'm in bed and pretending to be asleep when Ann comes in, and I'm still awake by the time she's in her bed snoring softly. I only fall asleep when I'm too exhausted to keep my eyes open. Every night I feel like I'm shriveling away, I wonder how much longer until there's nothing left?

-I'm really sorry that not a lot happened this chapter but I'm trying to build up on some things. I'm going to try to get another chapter up before I leave but it depends on how busy I am, hopefully, it will be a little more eventful than this one. And for all those GemmaKartik fans, keep hope! Luv Ya All!

-Doyle


	6. Chapter 6

Hello all! This is definitely the last chapter that I'm posting before I go and for that I am dearly sorry ( Looking on the bright side, I should have a lot of ideas to post when I get back! Anyway, I hope you find this a little more interesting than the last chapter. Enjoy! 

Doyle

P.S. I would also like to dedicate this chapter to Roger Federer because I believe he should have won the French Open (darn Nadal!) Speaking of sports, if any of you are watching the World Cup, keep your eyes open for a player called Cisse, who plays for Trinidad, he's so cool! (Wales didn't qualify… (…)

Chapter Six….

It is cold, windy and raining and I'm walking to church. Praise the Lord, Amen, Amen… right. I can have not seen Ann or Felicity this morning on account of taking breakfast in bed like the previous night, but when we finally reach the small church and hustle in I can only find Ann and Fee is nowhere in sight.

I take a seat in one of the very back pews, and to my surprise, Ann sits down next to me. She says nothing to me and I say nothing to her. Before either of us can work up the courage to say anything at all, the Mass begins and Father starts ranting about how we are all weak and easily led to sin. I can only sit there for so long until I have to ask. I turn my head slightly to my left to whisper to Ann.

"Where's Felicity?" She doesn't respond right away and I begin to think that she won't talk to me at all, until she scoots a little closer to me.

"I do not know, she wasn't at breakfast." After saying this she takes out her hanky and dabs at her nose and watery eyes. When she lifts her hand to her face I notice that blood has seeped through her sleeve, but I don't mention it to her. Is she really so incapable of being independent and confident that she has to cling to absolutely anyone he can find? Felicity, her life vest, is nowhere in sight so she has to cling on to something else before she drowns, and it's quite pathetic. Even though I am thinking such cruel thoughts, I cannot help but feel bad for her. I don't say anything to Ann, but I do stare absent-mindedly at a candle on the altar for the rest of the Mass.

The weather has only worsened by the time we start heading back to the school, the rain is now coming down in sheets and the win is howling in our ears. I see Mrs. Nightwing at the front of the group and I leave Ann to join her. I walk evenly to her until she asks me what I want.

'I have not seen Felicity this morning and I am starting to become worried, do you know what has befallen her?' She pauses but only for a moment before she responds.

'Miss is still in bed ill at the moment. I will let her know that you worry for her." I mumble my thanks and drop back to the end of the pack. Ann quickly joins me but she doesn't say anything.

Once inside the warm building of Spence Academy for Girls, I quickly run up the stairs to my room so I can change into drier clothes, Ann follows quickly at my heels. As soon as I enter the room I know something is wrong. I immediately look for all my personal things like my mother's diary, but it is exactly where I left it.

"What are you doing," Ann asks from her position on the bed as I continue my search on her side of the room.

"Someone was in here when we were at church. I know it sounds really weird, but I just know…" I stop digging through Ann's books and stand up. What am I doing? Nothing has been moved and I am only making a fool of my self.

"I'm sorry Ann, I just haven't been sleeping well again and I guess I am just getting paranoid." I smile sheepishly and she doesn't respond, she doesn't say a lot anymore, not that she was ever a chatterbox. She suddenly gets up and says she's going to go find Fee and I explain to her what Mrs. Nightwing said.

When she leaves I lie back on my bed and listen to the wind and rain pounding on my window. I would really hate to be out in this storm. I jump off the bed. Kartik! He's all alone in the rain without his cloak! I open the drawer that I had but the cloak in the night before and found it empty. So I was right! But who…

I can feel the blood drain from my face before I even finish my question. Felicity. I let out a string of very unlady-like curse words and dash to the door and down the hall.

I don't even bother knocking but barge right in. Felicity is sitting on the edge of her bed looking as right as rain talking to Ann, Kartik's cloak in her hands.

"Give-that-back." She just laughs, gets up, and walks over to put her hand on my shoulder.

"Oh lovely Gemma, I'm so glad you came, we were just talking about you." I jerk away from her touch.

"Give me back my cloak," I growl. Felicity doesn't miss a beat.

"Your cloak? Ann and I just agreed that we have seen this very cloak on your little Indian friend. Is that not so?" She's smiling broadly at me now and my hand itches to slap it off her face.

"What were you doing in my room?" I ignore her question completely. Her smile broadens even more if that is even possible.

"Our dear Pip told me not to trust you, that you are being led astray and that you don't want to spread the power but keep it all for yourself! But do not worry, dear Gemma, I don't expect anything more from a little whore like you anyway. Let me be so bold to ask, do you bring your "friend" to the realms for a good fuc-"

The room goes dead silent and my ears are ringing from the sound of my hand hitting Felicity's rosy cheek. She is so stunned that all she can do is bring her hand to her face to fell the large welt that is forming there. Before she can get her tongue back, I am out the door and racing down the stairs. I am so angry that I could cry but after the last couple of days there are no tears left to shed. I keep running until I hear a short from behind me.

"Miss Doyle! Where are you going in such a hurry?" I stop dead in my tracks and turn around to see Mrs. Nightwing come marching out of one of the sitting rooms. The closer she gets the more I notice that she, surprisingly enough, does not look all that mad.

"Is where you are going so important that you cannot receive a visitor?" A visitor? I shake my head and follow her back into the sitting room. Right, just great. Mr. Middleton… _perfect_ timing. He smiles and kisses my hand and all that high society stuff. I do not respond until I can feel Mrs. Nightwing's glare on my back, I dip slightly. He seems to take no notice of my rudeness and invites me to sit on the settee across from him; Mrs. Nightwing takes her usual place in the corner and works on her knitting. Please God, why do you torture me so. I mean Simon is a really nice guy and everything but _just not now! _Simon breaks the silence and asks the same boring questions but my mind is still thinking of the conversation with Felicity on moments ago.

Just when I think that I'm going to fall asleep, there comes loud footfalls coming from the hall way and all of a sudden a head pops through the door without even knocking and tells Mrs. Nightwing that Alicia, a girl of about eight, has just fallen down the top flight of stairs to the landing below. Mrs. Nightwing jumps to her feet and casts us a quick look, and I assume we win her trust because she turns around and leaves the room faster that I have ever seen her move.

I look awkwardly over at Simon. We have been alone together before, but never at Spence. He smiles at me when he notices that I'm looking at him and I look away.

"It is amazing what people will say for some money?" I stare at him.

"What?"

"You see Gemma, I have been talking to some of my friends about something that is of interest to me and they told me that you would be able to help me on the subject. But I really did not want to ask in front of her Headmistress Mrs. Nightwing."

"Wh-what is it," I stammer, not liking where this is going.

"Tell me Gemma, have you ever heard of the realms?" I could swear I feel my heart stop.

"What? Um… No I have not heard of such a thing. Your friend must have me confused with someone else." The smile he was wearing falls from is face and he makes an exasperated sigh.

"Come on Gemma, work with me here, I know you know what I'm talking about."

"I'm sorry Mr. M-" I let out a gasp in pain as he grabs by wrists and twists me so I'm looking him in the face.

"Now Gemma, we don't have a lot of time, so I will tell you what we're going to do. Tonight at midnight you are going to sneak out and meet me at the back of the church and you're going to take me to the realms. Okay?" I do not answer because I'm too much in shock. "Okay? Gem-" I do the only thing I can think of, I kick him as hard as I can in the groin. He lets me go and I bolt, but I don't make it to the door before he grabs my arm and flings me to the ground. I open my mouth to scream but before I can even get a sound out I feel my head whip to the side and a pounding pain in my right ear as he hits me across the face with the back of his arm.

I lie still, trying to make the room stop spinning, and to my great relief he must think that I'm unconscious because I can hear him swear and take a step away. When he attempts to pick me up I smack him across the face and he is so stunned that I am able to slip from his grasp, and this time, I make it to the door. As soon as I'm in the corridor I run for all I'm worth on to the grounds and into the pouring rain.

I run until I reach the edge of the lake, which has already started to flood. I look at myself. I have red and purple welts around my wrists and when I put my hand to my cheek it feels warm and there is a little swelling but it probably isn't bruised. Okay, lets recap. Fee and Ann are no longer my friends because they believe Pip, they both think I'm a whore, Simon somehow found out about the realms and tried to force me to take them there, and to top it all off, I'm standing in the pouring rain and absolutely soaking wet. I shiver, and even when I think I'm all cried out for a lifetime, I feel warm tears slide down my cheeks. I look around and decide that I must talk to Kartik.

I reach his little camp and I feel guilty about coming without his cloak, but unfortunately, it's still in the lair of the evil Felicity. I walk up to the entrance and knock on the frame like I did the night before.

"Who's there?"

"It's me, Gemma," I shout over the howl of the wind. I hear rustling on the other side as he unties the flap.

"What do you think you're doing out here? Can't you see it's raining?" I smile and thank him as he hustles me in. Surprisingly, the tent is unbelievably warm and I immediately notice that the heat is coming from a fire he has crackling noisily in a metal pot, there is also a kettle hanging over it to boil.

When he is done tying up the entrance, Kartik turns and inspects me and I know I look a fright. His eyes stop on my right cheek.

"Gemma, what happened?" The next few minutes I spend explaining the events of the day, leaving out the part about Felicity stealing his cloak and calling me a whore, instead, I told him that I just forgot to bring back his cloak, but he didn't seem to mind.

"I told you the Mr. Middleton was up to no good. And the fact that both of your friends are listening to something from the Winterlands isn't exactly good news either." I look away ad my teeth start to chatter. He notices this and gets up and walks to his pack. When he turns around he hands me some dry clothes.

"I know there not exactly made for a women and they will be a bit big, but you can't stay in those wet clothes I go in the corner and shut my eyes." I took the clothes and looked at them. I wanted to refuse because it was so improper but I was so cold, even with the fire. I got up and went to the other corner and peaked over my shoulder to make sure he wasn't looking. Satisfied, I started to strip of layer by layer my soaking wet clothes and put his dry ones one, I was amazed by who comfortable they were.

"Done," I said and he turned around and opened his eyes. He nodded and then handed me some blankets. The kettle whistling broke the silence and he jumped up to pour two glasses off tea. We drank in silence.

By the time we both had finished it had started to thunder and lightning. Though the tent was waterproof, I feared that we were going to blow away or get struck by lightning. But when Kartik got up and started to get ready to bring me back, I didn't want to go.

"Kartik wait…" He stopped what he was doing and looked at me. I looked at the ground and blushed.

"I really don't want to make you go back out in that storm and then have to come all the way back. Would you mind terribly so if…I just stayed here to night." He didn't answer at first but after a moment's shock he spoke.

"If you feel comfortable, then of course." I smile at him and he smiles back. We each got wrapped up in blankets and laid next to the fire. And that night, I had the best nights sleep I have had in months.

-Okay I did this all in one sitting and it's really late. I know that I should really go back and proof read, but I am _way_ too tired. Another thing that I want to say is that I reread some of my chapters and I don't think I have been doing so well lately, I have had a lot of things on my mind. If it isn't just me then I apologize. Hopefully I will make it up when I get back. With that being said, I will miss you all over the summer and I will try to update as soon as I can when I get home!

-Doyle


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